Saskia can’t wait to open her prezzies. She steals downstairs in the middle of the night to have a rummage under the Christmas tree and just can’t help herself. She unwraps one of them and it’s a huge fucking pink dildo. She starts to, er, interact with it. Meanwhile, Santa (me) and his elf (him) realize that they forgot to drop off one of Saskia’s presents. They double-back and find her being very rude with her new toy (which, it transpires, isn’t actually hers but her mum’s). Bad girls who open their presents before they’re supposed to need to be punished. Bad Santas will always be bad. You know the rest. Merry Christmas, motherfuckers x
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